1. Behavior that sabotages successful management of our lives.
2. Feeling the necessity to shut down feelings and to keep everything inside. (As children we learned that expressing our own wants and needs resulted in rejection. This in turn fueled intense feelings of inadequacy. No matter how hard we tried things only got worse). When we express our needs we risk being rejected.
3. Low self esteem
4. Insecurity, anxiety
5. Trying to save face rather than to acknowledge reality and accept the consequences of our actions. Hiding from our true feelings by staying “busy.” By staying busy we allow ourselves to ignore our true feelings and thus deny them.
6. Tendency to isolate.
7. Need to be approved of by others. Being loyal to others even when loyalty is not deserved or warranted.
8. Easily intimidated by others.
9. Confusing pity with love
10. Giving in to others rather than taking care of our own wants and needs. . loss of the ability to express our goals
11. Allowing fear to rule our lives, instead of hope
12. Overreaction to change when we have no control
Signs of Recovery:
1. Growing trust of ourselves and others
2. Becoming more open and communicative
3. Willingness to reveal ourselves to others
4. Accepting the past and dealing with it honestly
5. Focusing on a new relationship with God, thereby eliminating the obsessive need for other people’s approval.
6. Reduction and/or elimination of all acting out behaviors
7. Instinctively knowing how to deal with situations that formerly baffled us.